No strawberries for me

Ooo, got some heartburn now. Took some pepcid. I didn't realize that nonfat vanilla frozen yogurt with strawberries would do that. It was probably the strawberries, but they tasted so good in the meantime.

Pics for Dec and Early Jan

After the Look Good, Feel Better Program by the American Cancer Society. I'm drawing in my brows now. No bottom eyelashes.

Chemo #5 on 1/7/09

My baldish head in Dec. Those hairs that have hung on are just trimmed to chin-length.

steroid, neulasta, duct

I'm having a bit a a steroid flush today. Boy, I feel warm. I got a good amount of sleep even with the steroid. The night before I only had 4 hours (2am-6am), but last night I had 7.5 hours (12am-7:30am). After 8:30, I had 2 more hours. Hee hee, making up for the day before.

I got my Neulasta shot, and my blown vein looks like it'll recover without much a bruise! What a relief! I also had my torso pic taken by Shirl today.

I found a "clogged duct" yesterday that I showed to Carol the nurse practitioner. She wasn't that worried, and I'll have it looked at nu my surgeon in 2 weeks. Looks like my incision is healing nicely. There's 1 black stitch peeping through, but it doesn't bother me.

Chemo #6 is done!!

Chemo infusion went smoothly. The ice on the roads made it a little treacherous to come in though. I did sign up for the extra taxotere so I have one more chemo left.

I had a new person put in my IV today. She did two tries unsucessfully and blew one of my veins out. I've never seen my vein swell like that. I was quite mad since I still have the remaining Herceptin until Oct and need my veins! I was told by two different people though that it should heal up OK since no chemo was put in.

Taxotere 139 mg
Carboplatin 713 mg
Herceptin 446 mg

I used the cold packs today, too. So far my nails look really great. I heard how they can split down the middle.

All set for chemo #6

I got my bloodwork results back. It seems that it's all normal so I'm ready to go. I already took my dexamethasone ( my steroid to prevent reaction to the taxotere). I thought that perhaps my platelets would be low again since I've had blood in my nose, not real bleeding, since my last chemo treatment.

I received e-mails back about the additional taxotere from my med onc and nurse practitioner. They both think that it's not necessary to have it, that the herceptin is more important for my treatment, especially since I've had some issues with the neutropenia and off liver enzymes. My gut feeling though is to have the additional taxotere. I'm already on it. My hair's already gone. I may as well have one more for the road so that I'll never have to come back to this point again. So tomorrow will not be my last chemo. It'll be my last carboplatin, which is great because it caused my platelets to drop and probably affected my fertility more so than the taxotere.

I met up with my YSC buddy, Katie, at Hopkins today. I haven't seen her since the start of chemo when my hair was coming out. She said that she would probably take the additional taxotere as well. She won't be coming to the conference, but at least I get to see her here. She told me how the er+/pr+ cancers tend to go to the bone, whereas the her2+ go to the brain. Katie also told me about her horrendous experience at Hopkins in taking out her port. The port is used to administer chemo so that you don't have to locate a vein every time and is put in surgically. Now that she's finished with chemo and Herceptin, she had it removed, but unfortunately, the apparently newbie surgeon had not seen the port inserted quite that way ( she had it put in at another facility). Basically, she had to argue with the surgeon to use the old incision site, and the anesthesia wore off before her surgery was complete. Just a bad experience all around. Yikes! Good News: she just turned 30. She honestly thought when she was diagnosed that she wouldn't be alive to see her 30th birthday.

On the panel!

I was asked to be a part of a panel in the Voices: Sharing our stories workshop at the Young Survivors' conference that I'll be attending at the end of Feb. I'm actually pretty flattered that they would ask me. The organizer got my name from the scholarship committee. There will be women of various backgrounds on the panel of 6. Some will have been diagnosed ages ago while I'm one of the newly diagnosed.

Sam and I celebrated the Chinese New Year yesterday by going to the Fortune Star buffet. We had stone crabs, some other kinds of crabs, and clams. I was really full by the end! I figure I should eat while I can before the chemo on Wed. I still don't know if it's my last one. I'm calling now.

Looks and polls

Today, I put on all the makeup I put on yesterday. We were going to the library, and Sam commented that I would scare the children. Doesn't he say the sweetest things? At the end of the month, Sam and I would have been together for 7 years. It was when we first started going out. I can't remember when along the way, it went from saying luvy duvy stuff to the hard core truth. I don't mind what Sam says because I look awesome! I was wearing my short reddish-brown wig all this week since I wanted to look professional for my presentation on Thurs. Today, I have on the straight black one.

There was a poll on the YSC site on where the women found their lump. Overall, there were 10% more women with breast cancer found on the left side than the right. So it seems the stats are true for us young women, too. It can't be explained why breast cancer is found on the left side more than the right. Also, the poll asked which quadrant the lump was found. On both sides, it was the upper quad closest to the armpit. Mine was on the left side, inner upper quad.

There was another poll asking if you were the oldest, 2nd, 3rd, 4th or more, or only child. Oddly, most of us were the eldest.

Look Good, Feel Better!

I went to the American Cancer Society program today. The center is very close to my apt! I got a lot of free makeup from various cosmetic companies, including estee lauder, bobbi brown, mary kay, covergirl, and aveda. The cosmetologist showed me how to put the eyeshadow and make my eyebrows look more real after filling them in. It was fun!

Theer was one other person there, Martha. Most likely she had breast cancer as well. I told her that I was on TCH, and she said that she was on it the first time. She's on her 4th treatment!!! The 2nd and 3rd didn't cause hair loss. Now she's on abraxane and something else. I didn't ask her what stage she was in. We actually didn't get to talk much about our cancer since we were busy applying amkeup. I was having some eyeshadow issues. I took a pic, but I've lost my cord to download so I'm behind.

There were lots of other resources at the ACS building, including a library, hat/wig shop, lots of free materials for patients. I got a free soft blanket!! They have yoga classes and acupuncture, quilting and photo organizing classes. Oh, massage, too!! Can you tell I'm excited?

Cabbage Patch

I'm feeling normal today. Still having that craving for sour foods. I think that it's making me retain water though. My eyelids seems a bit puffy. My lab presentation went really well today. Now I feel I can relax after getting chemo next week.

Tomorrow is my Look Good, Feel Better class. It was rescheduled because it was snowing on Monday. Yay to free cosmetics!

Sam said I look like a cabbage patch doll. I would have frowned, but I actually do look like one.

To make you smile...

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. (I like this the best!)

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

I can actually hear Sam saying these answers to me.

Been eating like there's no tomorrow

I finally got my taste buds and appetite back on Friday night so to celebrate I've been pretty much eating non-stop for the past few days. This is probably not good for my waist line, but I'm so happy I can eat normally again. Next Wed. will be my 6th chemo. Cori is the first of my chemo buddies to finish chemo treatment. Her motto is: Death is not an option!

I watched the inauguration ceremony today. It was really a moving and beautiful ceremony. It's amazing that more than 1.4 MILLION people were present, especially considering how cold it was. What an amazing scene!

I'm back!

I'm feeling a lot better now! That was the longest it's taken to bounce back. I ate my tomato sandwich with pickles, and I could actually taste everything! Last night Sam and I went to a church party with an Italian dinner theme. It was the most I've eaten in quite a while. We brought pickles, olives, marinated artichoke, and clementines. I think that I pretty much couldn't taste anything except sour stuff for the past few days so I've been gravitating toward pickles.

On Thurs. night, Sam and I went to Costco to buy things for the party. I got so tired that I had to sit down. Earlier in lab, I had felt really phased out sitting in the tissue culture room. When I got home, I crashed into bed at 8:30pm. Oddly, I woke at 1 am and couldn't go back to sleep. I ended up rereading one of the novels near the bed until 6 am and slept until 11 am. That's a weird sleep cycle even for me!

My nose keeps on dripping so I had my nose plugged up last night. There's a little bit of blood in it all the time now. My lower eyelashes are pretty much all gone. I think that I have two long ones on my left side. The top lashes are hanging in pretty well though. My eyes feel pretty dry so I'm wearing my glasses.

I had a new chemo angel assigned to me. I have two. Deb is from South Dakota, and she sent me some Dove caramel chocolates, a lovely bookmark with beads, and a map of where she is. I didn't know that Missouri River ran through the middle of South Dakota. I'm an East Coast girl.

Filling in

Yesterday, I started to use powder to fill in my brows. I had bought one from Shiseido with Jeannie a few years back.

9th Annual Conference for Young Women Affected by Breast Cancer

I registered yesterday and bought my plane tickets on NW. I'm all set to go. I'll be rooming with one of my chemo buddies, Steph from NY. She also got a scholarship and is a grad student at, I want to say, Columbia. She's 28. Actually, you may have seen her in a previous post since I linked to one of the projects she participated in.

Date: Friday, February 27
Departs: BWI at 9:08AM
Arrives: Detroit DTW at 10:47AM
Departs: DTW at 12:51PM
Arrives: Dallas/Fort Worth-Int'l, TX (DFW) at 2:46PM

Date: Sunday, March 1
Departs: DFW at 4:15PM
Arrives: DTW at 7:54PM
Departs: DTW at 9:39PM
Arrives: BWI at 11:10PM

Presentation went well yesterday. I still feel the chemo effects though. I feel really, really tired now, although earlier I was OK. My stomach was better this morning than it has been. I've been having the feeling that I ate rocks and pins for the past week. I can tell that my hair is definitely starting to grow back in.

Taking longer to recover this time

My tongue feels very odd, kinda like I burnt the whole thing. It's numbish, and I can't taste maybe half of what I usually do. Everything feels oddly smooth in my mouth. Some nasal bleeding for the past 3 days. I made it into work and am still here waiting out one of my experiments. I'm still not sure if it was such a good idea to do it today, but I'll be glad when I have results. The corridors just seem so loooong. I'm probably walking about a third of the pace I usually do. My eyebrows continue to fall off.

I'm presenting a journal article on Wed. I feel I should at least be able to do that, but I haven't picked out the article yet. People tell me I should just skip presenting, but I will probably just end up going over a shorter article.

tough one

In the lab on a Sunday. I haven't moved this much since Friday. Was reading one of Stephen King's novels. I probably should have moved around more and drunk more. Thanks, Mom, for the kim bop, and William for the delivery. => I almost passed out a few times in the bathroom last night, had quite a bit of nausea. Didn 't eat much yesterday: chicken broth, apple (no peel), Sam's scrambled eggs with syrup (that's him experimenting. I wasn't happy he experimented while I was queasy.), cereal with soymilk, and ice cream. Think that the cereal and ice cream almost made me faint. I'm glad that chemo is almost done. Looks like my chemo buddies are all having a hard time, too.

I got the scholarship to the conference in TX though! $530. Nice!

Chemo #5 completed! Cool gel packs

I received:
Taxotere: 138 mg; Total vol=263.8 ml
Carboplatin: 711 mg; Total vol=321 ml (Lowered dose)
Herceptin: 442 mg; Total vol=271 ml

The infusion went smoothly, no reactions. This time I took the advice of my co-worker, Hide, and tried to cool down my fingers and toes with cooled gel packs during the taxotere infusion so that I will decrease chances of getting discoloration or warping of the nails. The gel packs could have beel cooler since we had to wait for the chemo to come in, but I had forgotten to put them in the fridge the night before. I was actually doing an experiment in the lab. We'll see if it works. My nails don't look that bad anyway.

I talked to my nurse practitioner, Carol Riley, and she said that perhaps I won't need to have that 7th chemo infusion with just the taxotere alone. That means that the next chemo could be my last one. I kinda would prefer to have the taxotere anyway, just so that I don't have to do this again. Carol and I agree though that the Herceptin is probably the best course of treatment for me to really get rid of all the cancer possibly left. I'll be continuing to take the Herceptin until Oct., every 3 weeks, but the infusion is only for half an hour so it's not a long process like the chemo regimens have been.

I took some pics this time, but I'll have to upload on another post. I started to feel a bit queasy even yesterday so there may be the cumulative response that the docs refer to. Usually, it's not so apparent until the end of today. Already took a pepcid today after the lab meeting lunch of pizza. The Neulasta shot went pretty well, and I even started another experiment today. Psychologically, it's very affirming, especially since the last one went so well. I'll take tomorrow off though because I know that I'll be going downhill then and Sat.

I wore wig number 2 yesterday and today. No hat!

It's a go!

I just got my bloodwork results back. Everything looks normal. Platelets are 165, white blood cells, neutrophils, electrolytes all good! No wonder I've been feeling OK. I actually started an experiment last Friday, and today I should have the results. I haven't done an experiment in so long so it feels good to start up again.

My hair is doing some weird things though. My eyebrows are continuing to fall out, the ones in the middle, but it looks like the ones below it, the ones I usually pluck and some new ones are growing in. There's also the growing/falling out going on with the hair by my knuckles. Usually, I don't even notice them. Over Christmas, I cut my long hairs so that they don't fall below the nape, makes it easier to keep the wigs on. Some of the hairs are growing back in there, too. Some peeling going on, but then I haven't been putting on the vitamin E cream for a while.

I've been wearing the reddish brown wig lately. I was at New York and Company. This one woman kept staring at me. It's true she was waiting in line for the dressing room, but I could tell she was following me around so I stared at her right back. Still couldn't figure out why she was staring.

Had my bust shot taken by Shirl. Just took my steroid. All set for tomorrow. Chemo #5.

Bye, bye eyebow!

I was taking so much care in combing and tying back my wig that I didn't notice that my right eyebrow was fading! It looks like I kinda accidentally took a razor and shaved my eyebrow. There's a bit of the hair left in the pore. So if I wanted to darken in I would know where to start. My look good, feel better meeting isn't until 3 weeks from now though. I guess I'll have to manage until then.

2009!

We toasted in the new year with sparkling apple drinks. Everyone had fallen asleep so I woke them up about 5 min to midnight. We sort of missed the countdown, but got the drinks in! I stayed up quite late last night looking at the YSC bulletins.

Today, we drove all the way down to VA to eat at Hee Been, the Korean buffet restaurant. Mom treated for Sam's birthday and, of course, New Year's. How nice is that!! We didn't get there until 2:30 pm though since it takes a little over an hour to get there. We were still able to have our fill of yummy Korean food.

I hope you all had a blast bringing in the new year! I was trying to remember what I did last year when I was talking to Monica last night. Sam and I were at the Korean Presbyterian Church of Miami. We had a service that started around 11 pm and stopped just before hitting midnight. We wrote down our goals for strengthening our relationship with God for the new year and burned them outside (It was nice and warm out). My goal was to read through Proverbs, hoping to gain some wisdom from the verses. I think that I only made it to the third chapter. Part of the problem was that I wanted to read one verse a day, but it didn't make sense when you read it like that. I think that I'll have to start with a new goal for 2009.